Uh-oh. Chemo Brain. As if I didn't already have enough trouble remembering anything for more than two minutes. I suppose in some ways this is a good thing, as it explains how and why this problem happens, and suggests at least one way to deal with it. Make lists. Have caregivers or others make lists for you.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/253277.php
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/11/27/evidence-chemo-brain-verified-by-researchers/
On a different note, here's a question. In one of his presentations, Kabat-Zinn speaks of a condition whereby some people come to think of themselves as being defined by their disease. I wonder what that looks llike. Know anybody with that condition?
Nothing but some minor sniffles yesterday and today. Hoping you do at least as well.
Best to all. Hang in there.
Showing posts with label Kabat-Zinn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kabat-Zinn. Show all posts
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Day 8 - Nov 26, 2012
Today seemed like a whole lot of drama or excitement or flurry of hustle over the act of dripping two very small bags of medication. Could easily have done this at home and saved all the drama. But it wasn't ALL bad. So, here's the short version.
Because I had a 4 AM departure via taxi, I just avoided going to sleep by doing overdue chores, and got there a little early. Very large hospitals, when empty, seem somehow less than lifeless. The reason for the early shine is that I was having a "PortaCath" device implanted under my collarbone in a day surgery. Easy enough for someone with no attachments, but my catheter bag (cleverly disguised by Wal*Mart bag) wants to flop and tangle and pull itself out when I move from chair to bed to gurney. And if they leave you on the bed to dress, with no wheelchair within reach, well...... Just about every move takes 4 times longer than normal and often some creativity in using "Stick", my cane and constant companion. Imagine using a cane to put on a sock. Happens all the time here.
The procedure was apparently simple and quick. I awoke elsewhere, grateful for the sleep. The Porta Cath was implanted to facilitate chemo drips, blood draws, etc. I am a notoriously horrid stick for blood draws and IVs with many bruises to prove the point. They dance and scream and run around when they see a needle. So this dzugyi can be accessed any time by most anyone with a needle. A small reservoir under the bone but protruding at the surface, with an attached tube running into a large vein just above the heart. Perfect for mainlining. So after 12 hours, the small (1.5") incision hurts and stings a little, but that should be gone within a day or two.. I will be sooooo glad to get rid of these IV lines and their daily flushing ritual. Another half hour to an hour I really don't have to spare. But onward.
I used Kabat-Zinn's mindfulness meditation several times during this adventure. Mostly, when I found my neck and shoulder muscles tensed to the point they could not be relaxed by pulling or kneading. Tension gone in less than a minute. Needed three tries to make it gone altogether. What nice relief.
The chemo treatment room was SRO today. Literally, there were people standing around waiting for one of the thirty treatment chairs to be open. All very friendly. I now I soon saw why. Lunch!!!! A daily ritual, somebody brings in boxes of a hundred or so sandwiches, a box of chips and crackers, a box of Little Debbie snack desserts and a box of drinks. It takes five kids to make the rounds in a line, several times and be sure everyone, patient and staff, does not leave hungry. You can argue the ethics of passing out less than healthy food, but you cannot argue that it gets people to their appointments on time. Same doses as last time. Small bag of anti-nausea liquid, medium bag of Gemcitabine, less than an hour with the pump running.
Then, Ben, my occasional volunteer driver, brought me home to Bud, who started doing backflips for treats and demanded to go out to play "Let's Be Idiots". Great fun, actually.
And there it is. If you are approaching a chemo regimen. My only advice at this point is ask and read. Best bet, by far is your physician, like it or not. The information could mean the difference in your treatment results. Best of luck to you.
b.
Today seemed like a whole lot of drama or excitement or flurry of hustle over the act of dripping two very small bags of medication. Could easily have done this at home and saved all the drama. But it wasn't ALL bad. So, here's the short version.
Because I had a 4 AM departure via taxi, I just avoided going to sleep by doing overdue chores, and got there a little early. Very large hospitals, when empty, seem somehow less than lifeless. The reason for the early shine is that I was having a "PortaCath" device implanted under my collarbone in a day surgery. Easy enough for someone with no attachments, but my catheter bag (cleverly disguised by Wal*Mart bag) wants to flop and tangle and pull itself out when I move from chair to bed to gurney. And if they leave you on the bed to dress, with no wheelchair within reach, well...... Just about every move takes 4 times longer than normal and often some creativity in using "Stick", my cane and constant companion. Imagine using a cane to put on a sock. Happens all the time here.
The procedure was apparently simple and quick. I awoke elsewhere, grateful for the sleep. The Porta Cath was implanted to facilitate chemo drips, blood draws, etc. I am a notoriously horrid stick for blood draws and IVs with many bruises to prove the point. They dance and scream and run around when they see a needle. So this dzugyi can be accessed any time by most anyone with a needle. A small reservoir under the bone but protruding at the surface, with an attached tube running into a large vein just above the heart. Perfect for mainlining. So after 12 hours, the small (1.5") incision hurts and stings a little, but that should be gone within a day or two.. I will be sooooo glad to get rid of these IV lines and their daily flushing ritual. Another half hour to an hour I really don't have to spare. But onward.
I used Kabat-Zinn's mindfulness meditation several times during this adventure. Mostly, when I found my neck and shoulder muscles tensed to the point they could not be relaxed by pulling or kneading. Tension gone in less than a minute. Needed three tries to make it gone altogether. What nice relief.
The chemo treatment room was SRO today. Literally, there were people standing around waiting for one of the thirty treatment chairs to be open. All very friendly. I now I soon saw why. Lunch!!!! A daily ritual, somebody brings in boxes of a hundred or so sandwiches, a box of chips and crackers, a box of Little Debbie snack desserts and a box of drinks. It takes five kids to make the rounds in a line, several times and be sure everyone, patient and staff, does not leave hungry. You can argue the ethics of passing out less than healthy food, but you cannot argue that it gets people to their appointments on time. Same doses as last time. Small bag of anti-nausea liquid, medium bag of Gemcitabine, less than an hour with the pump running.
Then, Ben, my occasional volunteer driver, brought me home to Bud, who started doing backflips for treats and demanded to go out to play "Let's Be Idiots". Great fun, actually.
And there it is. If you are approaching a chemo regimen. My only advice at this point is ask and read. Best bet, by far is your physician, like it or not. The information could mean the difference in your treatment results. Best of luck to you.
b.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Well, we've begun. I was beginning to wonder if we'd ever get here, but we have and all's well so far.
Day 1 (Nov 19, 2012)
Largely uneventful. Depending on who's reporting I suppose. A good appointment with CB prior to treatment. Beginning to like this doc more and more. He couldn't be less like me, but I am grateful that he treats me as an intelligent adult who can understand all his thoughts if only he's mindful about how he puts them out. We talked briefly about nutritional supplements as I had been talked in to taking a green tea concoction for it's cleansing powers. One of the five ingredients in this compound has the very same physical effect on cancer cells as chemo. For that reason, and needing to be able to understand my body's reactions quickly and accurately, he advised me off the stuff so we are working in a more controlled environment.
The treatment room was my biggest worry and it turned out to be kinda funny. The impression is that of a large hair salon. With several dozen comfy easy chair recliners lining the walls. About a dozen patients when I went in, some there for dialysis as well as some for chemo. What struck me was that everyone seemed to be very familiar with each other and the half dozen or so on the nursing staff. A lot of chit chat back and forth and good-natured greetings and well wishes to departing patients. All very friendly and casual.
They started me off with a small bag of anti-nausea stuff in the IV pick line, followed by a larger bag of the Gemcitabine. Altogether maybe an hour of IV drips. The highlight was their sandwiches and snacks and a really good cup of coffee. The lowlight was my catheter bag springing a leak for no apparent reason while I was in the chair. Seemed like I was the only one in the room the least bit concerned about it.
Day 2.
Virtually no side effects last night. Today nothing more than a mild temp and some sniffles. Could have been from the flu shot I had following the chemo treatment.
Day 3.
Even fewer side effects than yesterday.
Day 4.
Thanksgiving Day. I won't go into the mental gymnastics I did about thankfulness today. One thing I was grateful for was there were no side effects. I did get a number of emails and texts from friends wishing me well, and housekeeper came over just to visit for a couple hours with a treat of some sugar free cookies. Was Skyped by all my girls and first wife, Cindy and we all had some very nice visits. Very grateful for that. It's not easy doing this chemo thing as a disabled old guy alone.
Day 5.
No side effects today. Well one small nausea flare up that amounted to nothing. Came about from a strong cough. Took the nausea pills and nothing more that day.
Day 6.
Cold out there dragging Bud through the woods on the power chair. ("Larry") Led to some sniffles but didn't amount to much or last long.
And so it went. Most of the first week of chemo was pretty uneventful. Monday morning, before my next treatment, I'm going in for outpatient surgery to put a Portacath thing in my neck so they can put the IV drip in their without messing with veins. Supposed to be at the hospital at 5:15. Right. We'll see.
One of the things I'm counting on to help me get through this treatment regimen, and particularly the middle two months of daily radiation, is the practice of mindfulness meditation as espoused by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I've had great success with his work in past years during periods of profound emotional pain. He has practiced this form of pain management at the University of Massachusetts medical center for decades. Look him up and give it a try. You won't be sorry.
See you next time.
Day 1 (Nov 19, 2012)
Largely uneventful. Depending on who's reporting I suppose. A good appointment with CB prior to treatment. Beginning to like this doc more and more. He couldn't be less like me, but I am grateful that he treats me as an intelligent adult who can understand all his thoughts if only he's mindful about how he puts them out. We talked briefly about nutritional supplements as I had been talked in to taking a green tea concoction for it's cleansing powers. One of the five ingredients in this compound has the very same physical effect on cancer cells as chemo. For that reason, and needing to be able to understand my body's reactions quickly and accurately, he advised me off the stuff so we are working in a more controlled environment.
The treatment room was my biggest worry and it turned out to be kinda funny. The impression is that of a large hair salon. With several dozen comfy easy chair recliners lining the walls. About a dozen patients when I went in, some there for dialysis as well as some for chemo. What struck me was that everyone seemed to be very familiar with each other and the half dozen or so on the nursing staff. A lot of chit chat back and forth and good-natured greetings and well wishes to departing patients. All very friendly and casual.
They started me off with a small bag of anti-nausea stuff in the IV pick line, followed by a larger bag of the Gemcitabine. Altogether maybe an hour of IV drips. The highlight was their sandwiches and snacks and a really good cup of coffee. The lowlight was my catheter bag springing a leak for no apparent reason while I was in the chair. Seemed like I was the only one in the room the least bit concerned about it.
Day 2.
Virtually no side effects last night. Today nothing more than a mild temp and some sniffles. Could have been from the flu shot I had following the chemo treatment.
Day 3.
Even fewer side effects than yesterday.
Day 4.
Thanksgiving Day. I won't go into the mental gymnastics I did about thankfulness today. One thing I was grateful for was there were no side effects. I did get a number of emails and texts from friends wishing me well, and housekeeper came over just to visit for a couple hours with a treat of some sugar free cookies. Was Skyped by all my girls and first wife, Cindy and we all had some very nice visits. Very grateful for that. It's not easy doing this chemo thing as a disabled old guy alone.
Day 5.
No side effects today. Well one small nausea flare up that amounted to nothing. Came about from a strong cough. Took the nausea pills and nothing more that day.
Day 6.
Cold out there dragging Bud through the woods on the power chair. ("Larry") Led to some sniffles but didn't amount to much or last long.
And so it went. Most of the first week of chemo was pretty uneventful. Monday morning, before my next treatment, I'm going in for outpatient surgery to put a Portacath thing in my neck so they can put the IV drip in their without messing with veins. Supposed to be at the hospital at 5:15. Right. We'll see.
One of the things I'm counting on to help me get through this treatment regimen, and particularly the middle two months of daily radiation, is the practice of mindfulness meditation as espoused by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I've had great success with his work in past years during periods of profound emotional pain. He has practiced this form of pain management at the University of Massachusetts medical center for decades. Look him up and give it a try. You won't be sorry.
See you next time.
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