So much for looking forward to radiation treatments. They're starting to take a bit of a toll and that will no doubt increase as we go for the next two weeks.  The only problem I'm sure is related to radiation is the diarrhea. It was bound to happen as I can't imagine how they could get a beam in there without damaging some of the surrounding organs and tissue. The pancreas is, after all, surrounded by other organs and the beam has to go through them to get to the target. Still and all, I have great faith in the oncology radiation doc and the techs. They are extremely careful to get me positioned properly and watch closely as the beam travels across my abdomen.  Chemo doc prescribed a med for the blasts and it appears to be working for now.

The 5-FU has begun to have adverse effects again. After they had the pump disconnected for a week, my mouth and throat finally healed and were good as new. That's encouraging to think about how quickly they will heal once we're done with this stuff in two weeks. The effect is common, and I believe is called mucositis, and it inflames the skin of the throat and mouth to the point where I don't really want to eat anything. It could also be caused by radiation in that local area. Guzzling the protein shakes now and then works somewhat. But the stuff I can eat with this problem (dairy mostly, scrambled eggs and hot cereal) tend to aggravate the other problem.  There is a deal called Magic Mouthwash that helps some in that the Lydocaine in it numbs the mouth and throat for a couple hours at a time.

Please don't take this as complaining. I'm not. Just passing on the information about this experience so that anyone looking here for information will get what's real.

There is a new release about how Doxepin relieves some Mucositis pain.  Here...

http://www.clinicaloncology.com/ViewArticle.aspx?d=Solid%2BTumors&d_id=148&i=February+2013&i_id=932&a_id=22583

All for now. In two weeks I get to ring that damn bell. Never give up. You are a survivor.

Day 21 - My juice-free day. I am curious to see what will happen with side effects, etc. after missing the regular weekly chemo drip this week. I was supposed to go in for blood work, but they allowed my Home Health Nurse to come wake me at half past the crack of dawn to stick me at home.  I am grateful to avoid the two hour round trip, the time getting ready, the shaky transfer to and from the driver's car, and the wheelchair trip up and down my Super Ramp Of Death.  Instead, I took Bud for a long romp in Larry IV. Cold and bracing but nice.

This week have been fighting sniffles and coughs and chills. Mostly they pass quickly but today they're sticking around a while. Add to that some difficulty getting to sleep and some hard to shake blues and you have the possible side effects for the week.  Mostly get around them ok. For the blues I took Bud out to the woods to find a nice dead branch that we made into a Christmas Tree.  Got the new boob tube configured and watched my first home 3-D movie last night. The Avengers, a pretty good flick and a little fun in 3-D with great visual effects anyway. Have done some cleaning in preparation for a visit from a bestest friend Christmas week.  And stayed in touch with some friends and acquaintances via social networks and telephone. Those little moves can take a pretty big chunk out of the time the blues have to do their dirty work on me.

Read a NY Times article about aspirin, including a line about a clinical trial that shows it to have remarkable effect in preventing adenocarcinoma. Like the one that was in my pancreas. Too little, too late. But may be good to pass along to those who aren't here yet.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/12/opinion/the-2000-year-old-wonder-drug.html?adxnnl=1&smid=fb-share&adxnnlx=1355339522-Lmxk0bQGoo958jCWGABcEA

With that, I shall continue my adventure with sniffles and Bud. Today we steam clean carpets from the wheelchair. This should be fun.

Uh-oh. Chemo Brain. As if I didn't already have enough trouble remembering anything for more than two minutes. I suppose in some ways this is a good thing, as it explains how and why this problem happens, and suggests at least one way to deal with it.  Make lists. Have caregivers or others make lists for you.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/253277.php

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/11/27/evidence-chemo-brain-verified-by-researchers/

On a different note, here's a question. In one of his presentations, Kabat-Zinn speaks of a condition whereby  some people come to think of themselves as being defined by their disease. I wonder what that looks llike. Know anybody with that condition?

Nothing but some minor sniffles yesterday and today. Hoping you do at least as well.

Best to all. Hang in there.

Here's what's up, based largely on my Tuesday appt with Dr. Benjamin
Nadeau. aka ChemoBoy Although I met with ChemoBoy several times while
in the hospital, this was my first visit to his clinic. He happened to
be wearing the same disgusting orange shirt he had on at our first
visit. I really wanted to rip it off and set it on fire in the trash
can.

So, here's the chemo plan. Begin on Nov 19 if possible.We're getting a
bit anxious about delaying, but have to get my infections gone before
we start. That also depends on getting a permanent vein port stuck
into my neck so they can pour in the juice more easily than with a
normal IV. I had underestimated the time involved. As it stands, his
plan is weekly for two months on Gemcitabine, the primary popular
standard chemo for pancreatic cancer.Then two months on 5-FU. (love
the name) 5-fluorouracil along with daily radiation.This is the one
that carries the most yukky side effects.Then another two months on
Gemcitabine.

I was pretty encouraged by my visit with ChemoBoy. Perhaps just
because he's been less downbeat than he was in our first meeting. He
went line by line through the mystery of the CBC blood panel results
and explained them in intelligent adult ways. CB was clear about not
getting involved in any clinical trials and not considering some of
the innovative stuff they're doing at Vanderbilt as it really doesn't
seem to work with Pancreatic Cancer. He did say though that their
practice is affiliating with a larger practice in Nashville that is
doing some more innovative things. He referred to these options as
things to consider "if it comes back". Asked him about that and what
he said was it is possible, though not terribly likely that they got
rid of all the cancer with the surgery. If pushed, he's betting there
are some cancer cells running around, likely near the former home of
the pancreas and spleen.

When I asked him why he seemed more optimistic than in our first
visit, he said that he has to be careful and conservative in initial
visits lest patients, in their hopefulness, hear something that makes
them believe he brings a cure.  When I asked him why he decided to go
ahead with chemo and radiation/chemo in spite of my present and past
infections and problems, he said he was wanting to go forward because
he "thinks he can do me some good".  Having no other place to hang my
hat, I'll take that for now.

Generally, each chemo treatment is a couple hours, though they can
last as long as six. Perhaps a good time to do some leg exercises when
I'm not scooting Larry to the barf room.

 Still have the drain in that they used in hospital to drain the
abscess and that will be there till about the 15th. Using a very cool
self administered IV thingy for potent antibiotics.  My legs have
become substantially weaker, and it's now a challenge to stand more
than a few minutes, while walking more than a few steps with walker is
pretty much out. Maybe I can improve that with exercise.

Finally, weight is down under 290, from 350 six months ago in
hospital, which we all think is a good thing. Must work on keeping my
appetite and eating good stuff to keep diabetes from running amok.

These days are pretty much eaten up by getting ready for some medical
treatment, going to the treatment, having home treatments from Nursey,
and dealing with questions that come up about previous medical
treatments. Gets old fast. But trying to keep making at least a little
progress each day